February 4, 2023

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I think we need not view our entire existence as an improvement project.

Elin F. Styve isn’t so sure that self-help literature and motivational lectures always make the situation better.
  • Eileen F Steve

    Director and author of the novel “Sikkert ein klemmefamilie”.

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Ho: Do ​​you like yourself?

She waves a book in her hand.

Me: No, you know.

Ho: But you should. Otherwise, you cannot be anything to others. You must love yourself first.

Me: Isn’t it enough to hold on to yourself on a good day?

Ho: Not according to what I read.

Me: But I know how stupid I think and do. I am also a lazy fish.

Ho: Yeah, yeah, but that’s what you gotta love!

what does he have Read, must you believe? Chapter titled “Be Kind to Yourself”. You must embrace all of your imperfections and imperfections, but at the same time work relentlessly to become a better version of yourself.

Care what other people think, and still think, exercise, eat, fast, rejoice, and be excited about someone other than the one you know yourself to be today. Be tough, and say to yourself: “I usually do well under pressure,” according to the Norwegian bestseller on the self-help market.

How can one And the same industry is ready to fill us with all these paradoxes? I am completely miserable under pressure. That’s usually me. Am I allowed to embrace it, and only survive when it is required?

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Should I become a better version of my hard-pressed self? I can try, there are miles of books and videos with tips on what to do. But do they work?

And he’s the one who came and was supposed to cheer us on when I was having the worst time at my old college job. He drew the audience into his private life and displayed several pictures of himself and his family in beautiful and lush surroundings. He spoke of a balanced life, and he had a very beautiful wife.

I myself was nervous, detached, and angry. In parts of a long monologue, he didn’t even notice that he was repeating verbatim what he had just said, and the university audience became uncomfortable with him.

We were in the middle of a difficult merger. We notice that he doesn’t know anything about her. Did he even know where he was, or was he driving again?

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Self-help literature f Motivational lectures can at best be positively transformative for people. Some books provide comfort and guidance to those who need knowledge of, for example, sleep, food, exercise, and well-being. Some are research-based and of good quality.

But: At worst, banal advice can have the same effect as asking a depressed person to pull themselves together. It can feel a lack of one’s ability to improve more than ever before, when actions seem so simple that one feels ashamed of not being able to do it.

When the charismatic yells on stage “Just do it,” having no idea of ​​the sea of ​​limitations and complexity that individual listeners experience in their lives. Maybe they go straight and make a decision they’ll regret. Maybe they feel helpless when they can’t do the simple steps that shine through in PowerPoint.

I have known On the body, how big of a dilemma can the business owner side get into, in restructuring and change. And I meet myself at the door as it is. It’s easy to simplify, format, amplify words, and look for quick solutions. From time to time other managers ask me if I have ideas about who can come and talk to employees about job satisfaction.

They are in the midst of changes and lack people and have lost a bit of their taste. But perhaps this was not a lecture they needed then, but something that required careful and real follow-up? To be seen, to be able to use his abilities.

Sharing the good and bad experiences of employees among themselves, leaders who show themselves to be weak and tell success stories not only about themselves but also about their defeats.

January is near It’s over, and the boat, fortunately, will take us. Maybe you’re no better or worse than you were last year. I love lively laughter, of course, but I think we don’t need to view our entire existence as an improvement project, with a plan-do-study-do, for the circle of improvement to be complete for us.

I put the book on the shelf.

Me: How about just: Let’s live for each other, mind the time we have?

A cheerful melody rings in the back of my head.

Ho: Yes, maybe it is. I’m fine, you’re fine.

Me: Have a good day.

Ho: On a good day, yeah.